FOR YOU, NOT THEM

In practically all my posts, I’ve talked about my views and opinions. Today, I’ll talk about myself. Why would you want to read that? I don’t know. But maybe out of the readers I have, there’ll be someone who’s going through the same emotions, same sentiments. Maybe they’ve been in my shoes and maybe they relate.

So… it’s just an ordinary day. I hadn’t even planned on writing a post today. Matter of fact, I was just about to go to sleep when my self conscious side reigned control and whispered “Check your blog stats. See how many people read your works.”

Lately, I had been disappointed because my posts weren’t being read by as wide an audience as I had hoped. I knew people who had an average of over a hundred views. And it’s pretty common. Meanwhile, the most views I had ever received were 48. My average views are about six or seven a day. As a psychology student, I know that the worst thing to do is bottle up your troubles. So I’m gonna let them out.

For me, these numbers were pretty disappointing. I tried a lot of things. First I did guest posts on other people’s blogs. The increase in my stats was overshadowed my something else. I saw the guest post get over 50 likes, while my own posts didn’t even get as much views. And I felt cheated. I felt that I put work into my posts and someone else gets more likes for them. Why was it that my content went unnoticed on my blog, and when someone else posted it on theirs, it gathered so many views?

So the second thing I did was increase followers. Utilize social media. I made a Facebook page for my blog, and invited my friends to like it. Very few did. I had about a dozen or so followers on my page, and when I uploaded a new post on Facebook, on an average it reached a single person. So it’s safe to say that I gained nothing by that. I’ll probably still continue to post on the page, cause let’s face it, there’s not much extra work required.

The third thing I did was ask others to do guest posts. My initial thought was that the more people posted on my blog, the more content my blog would feature without much effort from my side. And I felt ashamed that my thoughts had become so shallow and hollow. I’d always emphasized quality over quantity, and I wouldn’t abandon that. I decided that I would have guest posts, but they would only be from people whose works would not dilute the standard of content that I believe by blog displays.

And here’s another thing about me. Shhh. Don’t let anyone overhear it. I’ve got a praise jar.

What’s a praise jar? It’s a concept I invented myself. Basically, I have this proverbial jar inside me which stores praises. There’s a certain level that the praise jar must meet daily. And since others don’t praise me often, I often have to fill the jar myself. I praise myself and display staggering amounts of arrogance. But I never exaggerate. That statement probably reeked of arrogance as well, but I do genuinely believe it to be true. I do not exaggerate my capabilities.

Anyhow, today something unique happened. I had, as told in the beginning of the post, opened my WordPress app. A single notification. A comment from a guy whom I considered pretty cool. Frankly, most of the words he used in his posts went over my head, but the few times I did grasp what he was talking about, I did feel that his reasoning was extremely sound. And so I see in a notification that he’s commented on my latest post, which I posted about four or five days ago, ‘The Key To Change’.

And his comment…

By the time I read it, the praise jar was overflowing. And when it overflows, I get emotional and candid which probably explains this post. That particular post had actually received fewer views than most of my other recent posts. And I was feeling pretty down, and this guy turned that frown upside down. I know a lot of long words, but none of them could express what I felt.

While I worked towards overthrowing the negativity of the numbers and stopping the praise jar from exploding, I realized one important thing. I’m not a professional blogger. My aim isn’t to make money. I’m not writing for the wide audience. I’m writing for that single person out there who actually enjoys my post. I’m not writing for the masses, but for the lone individuals.

“But if one kid out of a hundred million who are going through a struggle feels it and then relates, that’s great.” Eminem

That isn’t to say that I won’t enjoy if people read my blog. I truly would. The opportunity to share my ideas is one that I shall always seize. Yet what I shall refuse to do is me adversely affected by low numbers. Every single person who genuinely enjoys my work is worth a million readers who just scroll through. So guys, this post is for you. May my work never let you down.

Cheers,

Aayush.